Alex Tracie and the Wee Ones: Super Bowl Baby #2: Austin Olegovich

Again as in with some previous posts, this will contain some very emotional and spiritual experiences for me that I feel need to be documented for my posterity. Please be respectful of them.

**June 2005 Alex: What will we name this baby (Lydia) if it is a boy?
                       Me: How about Austin?
                      Silence.... I can see that he is deep in thought.
                      Alex: No, that is to be our 3rd child's name.

Austin Olegovich 2/4/08

February 4, 2008

Nurse: We still can't locate him.

Dr N: Well find someone, we have 5 minutes to get this baby out or we lose him.

My heart sank, please don't let anything happen to my baby I prayed. Please. In my mind (or maybe out loud I couldn't tell you for sure) I would pray, Please don't let them cut me open, I am still awake, Please let the baby be okay. Over and over. I am sure the nurses probably thought I was going crazy. I was beginning to feel weak, dizzy even though I was lying down, I felt like I wanted to slip into unconsciousness but was unable to because of the overwhelming fear and commotion around me.

Dr N: Tracie, Baby A's placenta is trying to deliver before Baby B. You are hemorrhaging (bleeding) quite a bit, I know your epidural has worn off and that you can feel everything. We don't have time to wait until it makes you numb again so we are going to have to put you to sleep. It will be best for you and the baby.

Hemorrhage, Oh please heavenly father let them get him our in time. Please let him be okay and let me be able to have more children.

I am still awake, I am still awake, I am still awake. I remember repeating. I felt like I was going to die. My heart was racing, I was in a cold sweat. I remember thinking that this is more than I can bear. And then I remembered being taught in Church that we would never be given more than we could bear. I turned to my Father in Heaven and had probably the most humble sincere talk with him. I told him that I have born this burden, my heart is heavy and I can no longer bear this burden so I would be turning it over to him. Matthew 11:28 ^aCome unto me, all ye that ^blabour and are heavy laden, and I will give you ^crest.

It was the most amazing peaceful feeling that I can't even begin to describe. I was at peace, he took my burden and gave me rest. I knew He loved me, was there with me and that though I felt alone in the chaos I wasn't. I have often heard that a women is never closer to heaven than when she is bringing Gods children into this world. And I have a testimony of that. For the next thing I knew the veil was thin, looking to my left were Alex and AJ had been earlier I saw the figure of man. He was leaning against the counter and was looking at me with a smile on his face, I could feel the love for me, I could see it in his eyes. I could feel his excitement. And I could here him say "I love you Mom, you are doing great. Everything is going to be fine."

I looked back to the ceiling only to see the face of a new doctor. He introduced him self as the anesthesiologist and told me he would be putting me to sleep and that he would be with me the whole time. My response, don't let them cut me open while I am still awake. As he promised he wouldn't I drifted off into unconsciousness.

Austin Olegovich 5lbs 9 oz 18 in born at 1:19pm

Lydia seeing her brothers for the first time

Everyone seeing the boys for the first time, top right is the twins with my twin brothers.

You are probably wondering where I am in these pictures. I am in recovery, I remember waking up as they where wheeling me there and asking them 3 questions. 1) Is the baby okay? yes he is perfectly healthy. 2) Can I have more children? Yes, they were able to save your uterus. 3) I WANT MORPHINE!!! (okay so the last wasn't a question more of a demand but hey you try having babies from both ends and tell me how you feel)

For a long time I was very depressed about no one being there when Austin was born and if it would have any effect on him the future. I was depressed that I missed Lydia seeing her brothers for the first time, the joy of the grandparents, great grad parents and Aunts and Uncles faced when they did too. Thankfully my wonderful hubby had someone tape it all and take some great pictures. But it isn't the same. I was the last person to hold my babies. But worse, I don't remember it.

But I realize how blessed we were, we had 2 perfectly healthy baby boys. Babies who didn't even . spend one minute in the NICU, who were allowed to come home with me on Friday when I was discharged. Boys who make me fall more in love with them every day.