A Fireman's view: 15 years later.



My brother; Benjamin Thomas Tolman

Ben's Facebook Post 9/11/16

Today I had the somber and sobering opportunity to do a 343 minute tribute to the 343 fire fighters killed on Sept 11, 2001. I stood at attention holding an American flag wearing my turnout gear, with a set of empty turnout gear next to me representing fallen fire fighters. I stood there for nearly 6 hours, 1 minute for every fire fighter killed that day. A couple of people stopped and stood with me for a few minutes. Most people honked or waved. I could tell who the veteran...s were because they would promptly give a dignified salute. Alot of people took pictures. I had many "thank you's" . It brought some people to tears. I am glad I was able to turn people's thoughts back to those who lost their lives that day, even just for that short time they saw me. I had 6 hours to think about it. I hope they saw the empty gear beside me and knew what it meant. I tried to imagine each fire fighter stepping into the gear next to me for one minute. I imagined the empty lockers at their stations because they would never return. I imagined their cars in the parking lots never to be claimed by their owners. I imagined empty beds and empty homes. Holes in the lives of so many others. Sons, Father's, daughters, mothers. Brothers, sisters. Lives shattered in a single day. Some of those people talked to me today. One guy was a pilot for United Airlines in the new York area that clear morning. Another person stopped who was in New York city and saw it all with his own eyes. One person shook my hand and told me more than half of his Fire Dept. died that day and wanted to send my photo to that department to let them know they weren't forgotten. Never will I forget. I will always remember. It is more real to me today after doing my small tribute and getting to meet people directly affected by that day. God Bless the United States of America.

 

Ben's Facebook Post 9/11/13

I woke up this morning 12 years ago to watch the news and weather before school. As a 6th grader I did not fully understand the events that unfolded before my e...yes on that television that day. All I knew was bad people attacked us and many people died. I remember watching my mother crying. Now as a almost 23 year old fire fighter, soldier, and american. I realize the events of that day forever altered the course of my life and all Americans. We live in a "post 9/11 America" the moments after the attacks we as Americans were united. But since America has become more divided than ever. Maybe today we can put all other titles, opinions, race, religion, and other dividing factors and stand today united as Americans for the honor of those who lost their lives that day. And those who answered the call, Many their last call, To help those in need. And the soldiers who sacrificed all to bring to justice those responsible for the cowardly attack that rocked this nation. Today WE are Americans! We will never forget 9/11/01.

 

The link below is a video someone took of my brother and submitted to their local news.

My awesome brother!

 

I couldn't be more proud of him, my brother Derek, and my many cousins and uncles who serve as firefighters and policeman. My husband who was a fireman, my brother in law who was in law enforcement. My Father in law, my Grandfather in law, my brother Ben, my brother in law who have all served in the armed forces. As well as my own Grandpa Greer who was a WII purple heart recipient and volunteer fireman. I am so blessed to have and had such great examples in my life.

 

And to my friend Alan, whose poem I found 5 years ago and still brings a tear to my eyes.

 

 

Let the world always remember,

That fateful day in September,

And the ones who answered duties call,

Should be remembered by us all.

Who left the comfort of their home,

To face perils as yet unknown,

An embodiment of goodness on a day,

When men's hearts had gone astray.

Sons and daughters like me and you,

Who never questioned what they had to do,

Who by example, were a source of hope,

And strength to others who could not cope.

Heroes that would not turn their back,

With determination that would not crack,

Who bound together in their ranks,

And asking not a word of thanks.

Men who bravely gave their lives,

Whose orphaned kids and widowed wives,

Can proudly look back on their dad,

Who gave this country all they had.

Actions taken without regret,

Heroisms we shall never forget,

The ones who paid the ultimate price,

Let's never forget their sacrifice.

And never forget the ones no longer here,

Who fought for the freedoms we all hold dear,

And may their memory never wane,

Lest their sacrifices be in vain.

Alan W. Jankowski

Helpless but Hopefull

We Shall Never Forget (9-11 Tribute)

 

Let the world always remember,

That fateful day in September,

And the ones who answered duties call,

Should be remembered by us all.

Who left the comfort of their home,

To face perils as yet unknown,

An embodiment of goodness on a day,

When men's hearts had gone astray.

Sons and daughters like me and you,

Who never questioned what they had to do,

Who by example, were a source of hope,

And strength to others who could not cope.

Heroes that would not turn their back,

With determination that would not crack,

Who bound together in their ranks,

And asking not a word of thanks.

Men who bravely gave their lives,

Whose orphaned kids and widowed wives,

Can proudly look back on their dad,

Who gave this country all they had.

Actions taken without regret,

Heroisms we shall never forget,

The ones who paid the ultimate price,

Let's never forget their sacrifice.

And never forget the ones no longer here,

Who fought for the freedoms we all hold dear,

And may their memory never wane,

Lest their sacrifices be in vain.

Alan W. Jankowski

 

Helpless....watching the World Trade Center fall, the Pentagon, and the heroic passengers on Flight 93. How could something like this happen? How could I help? I only graduated High School 3 months earlier. I had just finished my last summer as a "kid". Started a new job. Slowly working my way into the adult world. 9/11 made me realize that I was no longer a kid. Life was no fairytale. And yet I was so far away physically that sometimes it felt after watching live and then the news coverage over the next few days there was nothing I could do to help.

 

What could I an 18 year old hundreds of miles away do? We should or patriotic side, prayed, and kept on keeping on. I often would find myself thinking about the people who could have caused such devastation. How could someone do this to someone else? How could there be such evil in the world? But hope in humanity through the stories of people helping each other out of the buildings, people running in those same buildings. People picking each other up off the ground and running with them.


Lydia's thank you note from a few years ago

The stories of people like Frank De Martini and Pablo Ortiz who saved 77 people from the 88th floor. Flight attendant Betty Ong from Flight 11 who reported the hijacking of the first Airplane so when others went off radar traffic controllers where aware of the possibility of more hijackings. Stories of many others gave me something to cling to not all people are bad. And that is something to be grateful for.

 

Lydia's thank you note

And now 14 years later I realize that sometimes a few bad people will still try to hurt humanity. And if I let myself dwell on it I would feel hopeless. But hopeless and helpless are dark areas to be. Light cannot exist where darkness is. So I must choose to look to the light. To have HOPE. To watch for the heros, our uniformed ones as well as ordinary people who are given the opportunity to choose to step up and do. Hope that this world that I am raising my children in will one day be a place that they feel safe. Safe to live their lives and if they choose, a place that they will feel safe raising children of their own. That is my greatest hope. THEY are my greatest HOPE.

L to R: Lydia, Alex, Chase, AJ, Taylie, Tracie, Austin

 

 

 

Wordless Wednesday: Frank and Pablo 9/11 Heroes

Heroes
Frank and Pablo
Love, Went up and not down
Put his life in danger to save other people

by: Lydia Turner, 7

Pictures drawn in Memory of Frank and Pablo
Hero's of the 88th floor
by:
Lydia Turner
age 7

Tell me, Mom...Where were you on 9/11?

These are some pictures we took on the 10th Anniversary

at the bridge near our home town, the local fire departments

set up this flag for the 9/11 Memorial Riders

 

I am sorry this is a few days late, this years Anniversary has been more difficult than I thought it would be. My baby is growing up, she is learning about 9/11 in school and wanted to watch some of the memorial videos about that day. My Lydia is almost 8, but as we have said since birth she is an old soul. She told us just tonight she may be 8 but she is going on 18.

"Mom, where were you when you found out about the towers?" she asked as we were watching one of the documentaries.

"Mom, how old where you?"

"Mom, did you watch them fall?"

"Mom, what did you feel?"

"Mom, how do you feel about it now that you are the wife of a fireman?"

She would ask me these questions every few minutes, or ask for a clarification on what was being said. We would pause the show and her and I would talk. It brought so many raw feelings from that day back, also some that since becoming the wife of a fireman mean so much more now. She would listen and sometimes we would cry together.

I was 18 when the towers fell, I awoke to my younger brothers telling me one plane had hit a building in New York City. No, it can't be, what a horrible accident.

Accident, it had to be. What else could it be? But deep in the back of my head I knew, but my heart did not want to believe that something, someone would want to harm so many people.

I sat that morning before work, feeling numb. Watching. Hoping. I watched the second plane hit the South Tower. And then I knew my head was right. Terrorists. How did I feel, shock, sadness, disbelief. But most of all the loss of innocence. I would never view the world through the eyes of a child again. This doesn't happen these days. We aren't at war, Pearl Harbor I had read about in my history books at school. The Civil War, WWI, WWII.  This was history folding out in front of me, in front of the whole word to see in a way like it had never happened before. Live. We were under attack.

I got ready for work and learned the first tower had fell, the second fell as I drove to work and heard reports of other hijacked planes. My heart hurt at the loss of life, for the families, for our nation. I don't remember feeling anger though. Just the feeling that I had been catapulted into an adult world, a world that would never be the same. The evil that we try to shelter our children from, but I was no longer a child. Terrorism did exist. We were under attack, being pushed into war from an unknown assailant.

The next day my Dad, Grandpa Greer, and I moved my Uncle and his family to Kansas. The sky was so eerily quiet. The normally quiet roads through Wyoming to the small town in Kansas seemed packed with people. And we had no hotel to stay in. I was amazed that in each small town we passed there was no rooms. We raced another family from one hotel to the next trying to find the last available room. 

I remember listening to President Bush and his "I hear you, and the world hears you, and the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon!" The pride I felt as an American, viewing the people "the helpers", the flags, the GOD BLESS AMERICA and hearing the wonderful stories of people helping people. Of Flight 93, and those who fought back. Sacrificing themselves, that others might live. I have heard it said that it was the first fight on the war of 9/11 and they won. I couldn't agree more. They gave a mourning nation hope.

I was 22 when I married my husband, a fireman. I was so proud of him, I knew the importance it was to him and even joined him until we started having kids. I have learned so much being a member of this wonderful Brotherhood. I have learned so much being a fire wife. I know my last few posts have been fire related but it is such a big part of both our lives.

At 28, the ten year anniversary Alex and I lay in our room watching a documentary on 9/11 when I heard it, a sound that at 18 I did not know what it was. But as former firewoman and fire wife it pierced my soul, it was the sound of 343 PASS devices, Calling out of the dust, hear I am find me. I cried on 9/11. I cried more that night realizing what that sound represented to the families of the fireman, and the fireman who were still standing.

And now at 30, having to explain to my children when they ask, Tell me Mom...Where were you? And knowing that they at such a young age are beginning to realize that the world they live in isn't always safe.

My Grandpa Greer fought in WWII, he rushed the beaches of Okinawa. We tried to get him to talk to us about the war, but he rarely did other than to show us the planes he rode on.

He wanted to keep us young, I believe. And I am so grateful for that.

Lydia attends a Charter School that classes go up to 9th grade so when events like the shooting yesterday we feel we must ask what she has heard. Make sure if she has heard anything that it is the correct information, and answer any questions she might have.

It broke my heart today as I watched tears run down her cheeks and she said "Not again, not so close to 9/11, why?"

"Why?" A question for so many events, but we never will have all of the answers.

There were angels there yesterday, as there where on 9/11. Human and Heavenly. And hearing Lydia say that put a smile on my face.

"It hurts, but I will look for the helpers. Angels are all around us."

This poem is one I have shared every 9/11 since that 10th Anniversary, it was written by a man whom I am pleased to call my friend. It describes best what I felt that day and still do.

 

We Shall Never Forget (9-11 Tribute)

 

Let the world always remember,

That fateful day in September,

And the ones who answered duties call,

Should be remembered by us all.

 

Who left the comfort of their home,

To face perils as yet unknown,

An embodiment of goodness on a day,

When men's hearts had gone astray.

 

Sons and daughters like me and you,

Who never questioned what they had to do,

Who by example, were a source of hope,

And strength to others who could not cope.

 

Heroes that would not turn their back,

With determination that would not crack,

Who bound together in their ranks,

And asking not a word of thanks.

 

Men who bravely gave their lives,

Whose orphaned kids and widowed wives,

Can proudly look back on their dad,

Who gave this country all they had.

 

Actions taken without regret,

Heroisms we shall never forget,

The ones who paid the ultimate price,

Let's never forget their sacrifice.

 

And never forget the ones no longer here,

Who fought for the freedoms we all hold dear,

And may their memory never wane,

Lest their sacrifices be in vain.

 

Alan W. Jankowski



To learn what a Pass Device is click here.
 

WWFD: West Webster Fire Department LODD 12/24/12

THE WEBSTER FALLEN

 by Steven Olivo.

‘Twas the day before Christmas, around 5:58,
When two heroes appeared at the Heavenly gates
Their badges were crosses, their uniforms blue,
How they had got there, they hadn’t a clue.

“A moment ago we were fighting a fire,
To save a neighbor’s house, maybe something more dire
Is this some kind of dream? Or is it a ruse?
There are lives at stake here, there’s no time to lose!”

When what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But an old Roman officer, his voice rang out clear,
“I am Florian, patron to all of your calling,
I am sorry to say you are two of its fallen.

Like the Three Forty Three, like the Charleston Nine
And the Hackensack Six, you have died in the line
Of duty. You were racing to put out a blaze,
But someone who hated the world and its ways

Had decided he wanted to win some cheap fame
By setting a trap, killing whoever came.
Do not be too sad, for though you have died
Today you won your place here in Heaven most high.”

The heroes’ jaws dropped, they could scarce take it in
They had so many questions, where should they begin?
“Do not fear, fallen heroes,” said the saint with a bow
God will see to the care of your families now.

Though the world appears lost, His way is still true,
And it will not be long till this world is renewed.
Come now and behold Him who loved you the most .”
The heroes saluted and followed their host.

But they heard him call out as they entered the light,
“Be strong, true believers, and keep up the fight!”


A father of three, Mike's son Nick lost his two best friends that day. Two little girls with out a daddy. He also was the Lieutenant and Information specialist for the Webster Police Dept.
He won fireman of the year 2 weeks ago.

I hope that Nick will keep on going.
That he will be the man he dreamed of being before this night

Tomasz you can see the flame, courage, and goodness just by looking at him.
He worked through their explorer program and graduated just a year ago.
He also worked as a 911 dispatcher.
 He wanted to help people.
He was just 19 years old.
 Gone to soon.

Here is a link to a memorial to them to "The Firefighter Song" by Paul Cummings.

Four Firemen reported that fateful morning. Joseph Hofstetter and Ted Scardino survived and are still recovering at a local hospital. These two men showed extreme bravery and calmness under fire. They could have panicked, but they stayed calm and kept dispatch and first responders informed of their injuries and that of their fallen comrades and that of the homes that were still burning. Also an off duty Greece policman John Ritter was hit by shrapnel. In all 7 homes were lost but due to their bravery their was no more loss of life. The link below is the radio communications. It shows their extreme bravery but is also very hard to listen to so please listen at your own risk. Thank You and God Bless you brave men.
"Brother hang tight"

"We wish to thank the community, and the nation for the heartwarming response to Monday’s tragic incident. We deeply appreciate your compassion and support as we focus on recovering from our physical wounds. We are humbled and a bit overwhelmed by the outpouring of well wishes for us and our families. We are in good hands and want everyone to know that even though we are able to accept only close ...family visitors, we are so very grateful for your prayers. Like so many others, our thoughts and prayers are with the families of Michael Chiapperini and Tomasz Kaczowka, and with those who lost their homes. Please consider directing any acts of kindness toward others in the community who also need your compassion during this holiday season.” -Ted Scardino and Joseph Hofstetter

 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13

I have always had a sense of pride being a Fireman's wife, however this Christmas Eve morning my heart felt like it was shattered to pieces. Who could do such an awful thing? I will not give him the fame he wanted, his name will not be mentioned here. This is for the hero's, of that morning and the ones who continue to put on their gear and answer the call. My arms ache to be so far away, I just want to hold their families in my arms and say "We are here for you, this brother and sisterhood let us mourn with you, you are not alone" I have been amazed at the wonderful stories that have come from this event. Food and rooms provided for the first responders who want to pay their respects. Stories of meals being paid by strangers, what an awesome thing. And though I am far away there is one thing I can do. Tie a red ribbon around a tree in memory of our fallen brothers. And though those driving through my neighborhood may not know what it means, it means something to me. And if they ask me I will tell them of the four brave men on Christmas Eve and the two who didn't come home.

I have been seeing the twitter hash tag #WWFD. West Webster Fire Department.
I also like to think of it as What Would Fireman Do?
They keep going, they answer the call, not knowing what they are walking into, but willing to walk there into someones hell to be the answer to the call to that person they are an Angel.
This goes for all first responders, police, fire, ems and dispatch.
They work as one for the greater good
And though it might scare the crap out of me these next few calls
I will not stop him,
for I know that is where he is needed.
And I will stand strong.
I am a Fireman's Wife.

In Memory: 343 FDNY

We Shall Never Forget (9-11 Tribute)

Let the world always remember,

That fateful day in September,

And the ones who answered duties call,

Should be remembered by us all.

Who left the comfort of their home,

To face perils as yet unknown,

An embodiment of goodness on a day,

When men's hearts had gone astray.

Sons and daughters like me and you,

Who never questioned what they had to do,

Who by example, were a source of hope,

And strength to others who could not cope.

Heroes that would not turn their back,

With determination that would not crack,

Who bound together in their ranks,

And asking not a word of thanks.

 

Men who bravely gave their lives,

Whose orphaned kids and widowed wives,

Can proudly look back on their dad,

Who gave this country all they had.

Actions taken without regret,

Heroisms we shall never forget,

The ones who paid the ultimate price,

Let's never forget their sacrifice.

And never forget the ones no longer here,

Who fought for the freedoms we all hold dear,

And may their memory never wane,

Lest their sacrifices be in vain.

Alan W. Jankowski 

Worst Mom EVER!!!! Lydia's sheep ride

My dad is having trouble getting the video sent so I will tell the story and the video once we get it figured out.

I talked Lydia (and Alex to let her) into riding a sheep. I thought she would have fun. I remember doing it as a kid. I should have remembered she is my accident prone child.  She was excited. Until we got in line for her age group. Alex was at work so it was up to me to get her on the sheep and my parents took video and watched the other kids. Her friend Brogan was scheduled to ride before her but at the last moment he decided not to ride.

Just waiting in line

Lydia watching Brogan decide not to ride

So I helped her climb the gate and onto the sheep. She was VERY nervous. She also didn't want to lay down on the sheep because it had burrs in the wool. The gate operator and I showed her the burrs wouldn't bother her and how she need to hold the sheep with both hands tight around its neck and to squeeze her knees into its sides to help her stay on. She turned and looked at me just as they opened the gate and said Mom I am scared. I said to her Lydia the gate it open hold on tight it will be so fun I promise!!!

I could barely see her ride because of the crowd by the starting gates, I worked my way over to the arena entrance so I could pick her up there. As I walked I could her the crowd cheering with excitement. The other kids had fell of right out of the gate but by the way they were cheering I knew she was having a good ride. Then I hear them gasp.  Oh dear. I made it through the gate in time to see the rodeo helper pick her up from the middle of the sheep herd. She was crying and had lost a shoe. I meet them half way and carried her out onto the lawn. As I set her down I realized that she was bleeding from her mouth and that it had knocked some teeth loose. She said the sheep stepped on her face. I felt so guilty. I talked her into it. I told her it would be fun.

We made our way over to my brother Ben at the fire truck to have him give her lip a quick look and some gauze. Everyone told her what a great job she did. Alex showed up and looked at her lip too. Since the loose teeth were baby ones we thought she would be all right. This is why I didn't get pictures of the boys events. More mommy guilt. She didn't even place my guess is though she was in the top 5. Alex's fire buddies said they where so mad that she didn't place because she rode the best. And Brogan's dad (who also is on the department) wished he would have placed Brogan's helmet cam on Lydia to view the ride from her angle.


My family watching the rodeo
L to R: Alex, Lydia, Taylie, Austin, AJ

The next morning:

This is the little face I saw laying next to me when I woke up. She looked so miserable. More mommy guilt. Then she proceeds to tell me. I forgot to tell you that the sheep stepped on the my neck and hip. It hurts so bad I can't move my neck, the light hurts my eyes, my head hurts and I feel like I am going to throw up. (These are symptoms of a concussion or a brain bleed) Lets just say I had a mental mommy freak out.  I called her doctor and she got us in within the hour.

waiting in the room for the Doctor

I read her Alice in Wonderland with a British accent to try and cheer her up as we waited. She eventually asked me to turn the lights off and she laid down and asked me to finish the book.

It was decided that she would need xrays of her hips and a CT (Cat Scan) for her head and neck. Until we found out what the results were she was required to wear a soft c collar. She didn't like this one bit. I gave the Doctor my cell phone so she could call me with the results and she gave me hers so that if she got worse over the weekend I could give her a call.

waiting for tests

Thankfully nothing was seriously wrong, just a mild concussion and deep tissue bruising. Unfortunately she has to take it easy the rest of the summer and the pain will get worse before it gets better. She is happy not to be wearing the c collar, but very disappointed that she missed out on the bouncy houses at the fair on Saturday. More mommy guilt.

Alex has told me that none of our other children will be riding sheep. EVER. He said it is to expensive. When you add in all the doctor bills I guess he is right.

Have you ever pushed your kids to participate in something and then wish you hadn't?

Car vs Ambulance....again.

Please look and listen! Please!

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=960&sid=21465923&title=girl-injured-in-crash-involving-ambulance-and-van&s_cid=queue-1

Blue Ribbons and Flags

Saturday they laid to rest Officer Aaron Beesley.

His funeral was at my High school and was buried in the same cemetery as several of my family members.

Alex and I had talked with our children about what had happened to this hero, this police and fireman and as part of the fire community we wanted to show our support to his wife and children and fire family. Unfortunately Alex had to work and although my intentions to take the children were good but as some mornings go with four kids it didn't go as planned. I was disappointed but figured they would have some of it on the evening news.

My cousin's husband was baptized Saturday evening. I didn't know the way to the church so I followed my parents. I was so surprised to see blue ribbons lining the road. I realized that this road was the procession must have taken to the cemetery. It brought tears to my eyes, volunteers had walked the 14 mile procession route and tied blue ribbons on every tree, sign post, and light pole. I pointed them out to my children whose eyes excitedly looked for the next ribbon. Lydia was the only one old enough to understand the meaning of what we were seeing. And seemed as amazed as I did.

As we got closer to the city the cemetery was in American flags started dotting front lawns. And then they were every 3 to 4 feet on each side of the road, as far I could see. I found myself no longer able to point out ribbons to the children. Amazing doesn't even begin to describe the view. Business's signs honoring him. It was difficult to hold back the tears.

We turned before reaching the cemetery entrance. The baptism was beautiful, it was great to watch a person turn their life around and a family come together, and the opportunity for an Eternal family for my cousin and her children if they continue on this new path in their lives. There was a talk given how baptism is a representation of death and the resurrection. Laying down our sins and as we arise out of the water clean sinless. A visual representation of a symbolic promise of turning our life over to Christ and becoming whole in Him. Redeemed in Him.  And to watch his face as he came out of the water, the joy there was undeniable.

It got me thinking of when the resurrection will actually happen, the rejoining of body and spirit, husband and wife, parents and children. Because He conquered death, we will too. And how joyful that day will be.

I got lost trying to find the park where the dinner was to be served. I once again found myself on the road lined with flags and was less then a mile from the cemetery. I drove their and called my dad to get better directions. After I got off the phone the kids wanted to see Great Grandpa and Uncle Aaron's graves. Since we don't get that way often I obliged them.

As we walked I observed more blue ribbons and in a quiet corner the many floral arrangements for Office Beesley. Lydia, my sweet Lydia asked if we could leave something at his grave to say thank you. As we hadn't brought anything because this was a unscheduled trip. Then I looked to my Uncles grave. The four flags we placed there memorial day were still there and still looked new. Lydia asked if we could just take two of the flags over. I don't think my Uncle would mind, I think he would have wanted that. So we took  two flags and walked to the floral arrangements. I wish I had my camera with me, they were so beautiful, one from the UHP, one with a firetruck and boot, and many with the words of Father, Husband, Son, Friend, Hero. I sat with the kids and again talked to them about the sacrifice he made. And they thanked him in their own little words. It was so touching. They placed their little flags in the ground next to the flowers and headed back to the car. The children laughing and skipping across the lawn. I just watched them.

After finally finding our way to the park and having a nice BBQ we headed home down the same road, the flags were no longer there but blue ribbons still lined the street. I decided to follow them to the High school. Again the showing of support for this family overwhelmed me. Not just as a person but as the wife of someone who puts their life on the line.

 Lydia asked if they would do this for her Dad when he died and I told her I didn't know. I really didn't want her to know that this usually only happens when they die in the line of duty. Somethings she is just to young to know.

Sometimes I wish I didn't know, that sometimes life doesn't seem fair, that parents shouldn't have to bury their children, young children shouldn't have to bury their Daddy or Mommy. That things change, time goes on and people we love go to their Heavenly Home.....

All in all it was a beautifully sad and wonderfully happy day on so many levels.

Please look and listen!

Please take a minute to view the link below, a car pulled in front of the Ambulance and the passenger in her car died. Pulling over for EMS/POLICE/FIRE vehicles will only take a minute of your time, it could save a life, it might be yours.


http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=21140398&title=ambulance-crashes-into-vehicle-1-dead&s_cid=featured-3

The Fireman in my life.....

Most people may not know but fireman and police officers usually have a 2nd or 3rd job to support their families, Because we live in a small community our Fire Department is made up of completely volunteer fireman as is roughly 70% of all fire departments. What does that mean? He wears a pager with him 24/7 and responds to calls when we are in town. He goes to trainings once a week for at least a two hour training and gets paid apx. seven dollars per meeting. For each call it is roughly 12 to 13 depending on their training. That is per call, not per hour. So if it is a 1/2 hour medical or a 12 hour grass fire he gets paid 12-13 dollars. Sometimes they will be compensated a little extra if the call is extremely long. If none of our fireman are in town we are lucky to have a bigger town that backs us up and transports our patients when needed.

They don't do it for the pay, the do it for the love of their community, they do it because they love to serve. Their families sacrifice them during important events, my husband has missed Birthday parties, baby blessings and special anniversary dinners. But that is okay with me, I signed up for this they day I married him. It is one of the things that I love most about him. Yes, I have finished many movies or shows by my self but I am so proud to be a fireman's wife.

They serve even when they are not on duty. My husband works driving a cement truck driver as his "day job" but even while doing his "day job" he never misses an opportunity to serve. Yesterday he witnessed a car clip the back of another causing the car that was clipped to roll 5 times. He pulled is cement truck over and rushed over to asses the people.

Fortunately for them everyone was wearing their seat belts and walked away with scratches. Below is the video he took as he was leaving once the Salt Lake department arrived and giving his eyewitness statement.

As much as he loves to serve, we would ask that this summer you play responsibly. Be sure to have adequate water source, clear all dry brush, and have a shovel handy when you light off your fireworks. If you live in an area with firework restrictions please follow them. Do not use illegal fireworks. If you don't know the restrictions in your area contact your local government.

Please take the time to wear your seat belts, they do save lives.

And if you choose to go hiking please know the trails and area, pack enough water and take essentials for if you are stranded for night. Tell someone where you are going. And have a buddy.

Remember, wildfires and rescues cost a lot of money, but they put peoples lives in danger.
Sadly this week we lost one of our UHP officers. He was assisting with a mountain rescue, gave up his seat in the helicopter for one of the teens they were sent to rescue and lost his footing and fell.
He also served as an Assistant Fire Chief for the Corrine Volunteer Fire Department.

Utah Hghway Patrol Trooper died doing what he loved, helping others

Officer/Asst Chief Beesley

He leaves behind a wife, a 7 year old son, and twin 4 year old boys.
Our hearts go out to all of his families, his personal, police, and fire families.
Officer Beasley, heaven has a special place waiting for you.

Please pray for our Fire and Police officers this dry fire season. And please pray for their families too.

The Story of Us: The Proposal

I think we left off where I was headed to my other date and Alex was off to save the world.

The date was okay, but he wasn't my prince charming. This guy planned dinner a movie and then wanted to take me bowling. I was able to talk him into just dinner and a movie because I had plans with my girlfriends that evening.

Alex came home from Idaho and we went to Temple square to see the lights....my cousin convinced me that he was going to propose and to tell you the truth I was kinda liking that idea. We had the best time, the lights were beautiful and we had alot of fun. We stopped at Burger King on the way home and I even convinced him to let me take a picture of him in a Burger King crown. But no proposal. I was okay with that too because we had only been dating less than a month.

We went to a Stake sing a long for Christmas the first Sunday in December. On the drive up there he took my hand and asked if I had thought about marrying him. I told him I had and asked him the same question. He responded that he too had thought about it. He then asked if I knew what my answer would be, when I told him it would be a yes he told me he had already bought a ring. And that he had it with him but wanted to speak with my Dad first. He wouldn't even let me take a peek at it.

He will tell you that he planned on asking my Christmas Day but that didn't happen. That Wednesday he took me to dinner and told me he was going to ask my parents that night. I was excited and nervous. I don't think that I was as nervous as Alex was though. But they immediately gave their blessing.

He took my hand and asked me to walk with him to the new fire station that was under construction. He wanted to show me the details and explain to me why it was important to him. He said to me "this community has given me so much, they accepted me in my youth and helped raise me and I feel the need to give back."  Here is a link to a news story they did on him a year ago.
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=14962572&pid=0

As we walked to the Fire station and the park next to it, it was almost midnight, it was dark and the drizzle of falling rain was slowly turning into snow. He helped me through the unfinished fire station showing me where the gear would go, the trucks, and the training rooms. He explained that alot of the work was being done by the fireman on their days off, like the tiling and the heating ducts. I was amazed at his courage, and his willingness to give. I wanted to be apart of it. I decided then that I would join the fire department too. (Betcha didn't know that about me did ya?)

In our city our fire department is also our first responders. So my medical training would be a benefit. And not to brag but I can say I have "caught" a hydrant at least once. Unfortunately for me it only lasted about 4 months then we found out I was pregnant with Lydia and since then someone has to stay with the little ones. But one day I will go back, they always ask me when I am. Anyway enough about me back to the story.

Once we were done with the tour he walked me to the pine trees that lined the park to get out of the rain/snow. He got down on one knee and asked if I would be his wife. I joyfully said yes! He put the ring on my finger and I held out my hand. "It is so beautiful!" I told him. He laughed. It was so dark that I honestly had no idea what my ring looked like and he knew it. But that didn't matter to me. It was mine, from the one I love and want to spend my life here and in eternity with.

And when I got home and saw it in the light, it was everything I had hoped for and more.

My beautiful ring

Our Tree

Our Family Tree.

The Story of Us: First Date to I Love You



Alex and Tracie August 2011
The tree where he proposed.

 November 10, 2004 My Parents 25th Wedding Anniversary

I woke up that morning with the worst migraine in the world and the anxiety and anticipation of the upcoming night didn't help. I thought I might have to cancel the pain was so bad, but luckily for me I work at the best place in the world, with the best Doctors' in the world. And these great guys who were determined to marry me off (by trying several times to set me up on dates with guys in their wards) gave me shot in the bum for the migraine and the nausea and sent me on my way with threats (jokingly) of what would happen if I came to work the next day with out good stories of my date.

He picked me up and we drove through Ogden looking for a place to go bowling, he showed me his brother's house and I showed him where I worked. When we arrived at the bowling alley things go a little awkward, his accent was a very thick just being 6 months off his mission and I had a hard time understanding him, the first 2 games seemed so long but by the third we were talking about our likes and dislikes which eventually turned into how many children we wanted to have someday. We ended our night at Wingers enjoying each others company and learning more about each other. He drove me home and walked me to the door and said goodnight. My parents were waiting for me and after asking if I had a good time asked if I would consider going on another date with him. I told them I would if he asked.

That Saturday he called and asked me to go out with his friends. Unfortunately I already had plans with friends and I had promised myself that after ditching my friends with my other boyfriends I would never do that again, so I declined. Then believe it or not she ditched me. So my Dad and I went car shopping. I had a great job, was single, and not seriously dating anyone. I decided that I needed something newer and something with better traction for the Winter.  (Not to jump ahead but lets just say I was engaged before the first payment was due)

The next day we sat together in the singles ward, his sister and I whispered and giggled. Alex, well lets just say I have never seen someone so intent on a speaker in my whole life. In the end I couldn't resit poking him in the ribs a few times trying to distract him. He was nervous that I didn't want to go on another date with him that is why I turned him down the day before. So to make it up to him I invited him to my family home evening, we were going to a play at Northridge. He decided he was going to hold my hand that day and I unknowingly made it very hard on him. I have a habit of sitting on my hands when they are cold he finally just flat out asked if he could have that, and pointed to my hand. So to the point, so romantic. We held hands the rest of the night.

After that we saw each other at least twice a week he would cook for me and we would play games. He would stop by my work and bring donuts or pizza, would decorate my car, and leave me candy and roses. The girls at work were SO JEALOUS!

The week of Thanksgiving we decided that we would spend it with our separate families and then he had plans to go to Idaho to see a mission buddy. My Mom was urging me to date other people since it had been 2 years since I had dated anyone. She like Alex but wanted me to experience the fun of dating. My Aunt came down and I excitedly told her of all that had been happening. In the middle of this conversation my phone rang. It wasn't Alex, but to my surprise another boy from the singles ward asking me on a date for that Friday. My heart sank, technically Alex and I were exclusive and we hadn't even talked about becoming exclusive but deep in my heart I didn't want to date anyone else. I was so happy when I was around him. But like I said in my other post I told my self that I would never turn down a date so I agreed. My Mom was glad that I had agreed, my Aunt told me she could see a change in my personality after speaking with this other guy and could tell how much I must like Alex.

Thanksgiving dinner was amazing and in my family we stay up late playing games. I left my phone in my room to charge, the house phone rang and it was my Hunny. He had tried my cell phone about 2 dozen times but thought I was ignoring him. I invited him over to play games and told him I had something to tell him. We walked in the rain and I told him of my date. He was very supportive of my Mom and agreed that I should definitely date someone else so I would know if I was making the right decisions. We went inside to have pie and Alex being the ever helpful but jester that he is offered to take them back to the fridge for my Mom. He then pretended to trip to make her think the pie was going to fall on her. What he didn't realize was they tray wasn't sturdy and they came about six inches away from splattering in her face before he caught them. It was quite funny but he was a little embarrassed.

 That evening after going to a movie with my cousins he kissed me for the first time. Which surprised me because he had told me on our first date that he had never kissed a girl and didn't plan on it until he was engaged and we most definitely were not engaged. I wasn't complaining though it was wonderful.



I just love to kiss him.
Engagments Jan 2005

  The next day we spent the day at my parents house sitting on the floor of the living room going over his mission books before my other date and before he left for Idaho. We laughed at the pictures and he told me some great stories of his Mission. Like getting arrested and kicked out of the country.  Have I not told you that story? Well that is a different post for a different day. My Mom watched us together, she could see how happy we were and I think that is when she knew he was the one for me. Our time together was cut short by the sound of his pager going off, as he ran out the door to the fire station he yelled that he loved me. I yelled back that I loved him too, but it fell on deaf ears as the roar of his engine faded into the distance. My Mom raised her eyebrows and asked if that was the first time we had said that.

I just nodded and headed downstairs to get ready for my date.

9/11 Fallen Firefighter tribute.

Pictures of the Fallen Firefighter bike ride.
Alex and I took these and I edited them.

Yesterday approximately 3,000 bikers, and a few firetrucks participated in a Fallen Firefighter Tribute ride from Sandy to South Ogden. Our wonderful South Weber Fire, along with Layton and Uintah hung this huge American Flag across the overpass of the highway they would be riding under towards the end of the ride. It was an amazing site to see, even people not in the ride were honking and waving and many would get off the exit to come take pictures. And when they found out about the ride stayed to watch.

 One elderly woman pulled off and with tears in her eyes took many pictures. She spoke with my husband and one of his Lieutenants, her son is currently serving in Afghanistan and she was so touched to see this tribute and wanted to share it with him. She asked if she could take their picture in front of the flag to send to him. I offered to take the picture for her so she could be in it with them but she told me: No this is not about me. This is about them and the men who serve and all who have died serving our country.

It took a little over 8 minutes for all of the bikes to pass. Below is the video Alex took from his place below the flag, and the one I took (which is shorter) from my view point. Thanks to everyone who came out to support this event. I hope you enjoy the videos.

We have not forgotten. We won't forget. God Bless the USA!

Have You Forgotten?

We Shall Never Forget (9-11 Tribute)

Let the world always remember,

That fateful day in September,

And the ones who answered duties call,

Should be remembered by us all.

Who left the comfort of their home,

To face perils as yet unknown,

An embodiment of goodness on a day,

When men's hearts had gone astray.

Sons and daughters like me and you,

Who never questioned what they had to do,

Who by example, were a source of hope,

And strength to others who could not cope.

Heroes that would not turn their back,

With determination that would not crack,

Who bound together in their ranks,

And asking not a word of thanks.

Men who bravely gave their lives,

Whose orphaned kids and widowed wives,

Can proudly look back on their dad,

Who gave this country all they had.

Actions taken without regret,

Heroisms we shall never forget,

The ones who paid the ultimate price,

Let's never forget their sacrifice.

And never forget the ones no longer here,

Who fought for the freedoms we all hold dear,

And may their memory never wane,

Lest their sacrifices be in vain.

Alan W. Jankowski


Please view the links below the picture box.
The first is news footage of a local Fire Hero's funeral.
Isn't it amazing the love and brotherhood they have?

The second is a news article about the 10 Year 9/11 Anniversary Ceremony.
This makes me so sad, they answered the call
 and ran in when others ran out.
And now there is no room for them?
God Bless All who serve our country.
And All who die serving.
I will not forget.
I hope you won't either.

http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=960&sid=17084395

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2011/08/13/report-911-first-responders-not-invited-to-10th-anniversary-ceremony-at-ground-zero/

A Firefighters's Wife

A special kind of woman; a cut above the rest,

 that's A FIREFIGHTER'S WIFE,

 rating her among the best.

How many good byes are shouted,

 without a fond embrace,

 as duty steals her man,

 for the danger he must face.

How many meals are ruined...

 or tender moments disturbed,

 by the wail of a distant signal,

 sparking loyalty answered.

It's a devil of a job,

 for an angel like this,

 who... for the love of her man,

 must forsake that kiss.

She can run a garden tractor;

 even paint a room in need,

 how she can stretch a dollar is a miracle indeed.

She is mother, lover, chauffer and nurse,

 a living symbol of: "for better for worse."

Rich is the man, reaping his rewards in life,

 who chose to be the other half of

A FIREFIGHTER'S WIFE.

~Unknown Author~

I shared this poem not to lighten the mood of this post but it is so true!

Alex first told me he loved me as he was running out the door

to answer the call of a car fire on the highway.
I spent 6 hours in December waiting in his car
at the Firestation in the middle of the night,
after our date was interrupted
so he could help with a land slide.

I can't tell you how many movies and TV shows  that

we have never finished or I finish alone

so he can answer the call.

He has missed family barbeque's, holiday's, birthday parties,

 and half of the luncheon for Taylie's baby blessing.

I finished cementing our mail box alone, finish bathing the kids alone,

and keep his dinner warm, even the special anniversary one.

So he could help with that house fire, or save a life.

But I am so blessed to be called A Firefighters Wife.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Volunteer firefighter wins a High 5 for his service - ksl.com

My AMAZING Husband! Volunteer firefighter wins a High 5 for his service - ksl.com

Country Fair Days

Country Fair days was alot of fun this year. We started out this year by signing up all of the kids in the Baby Contest and Little Miss. AJ and Austin were first and they were so HANDSOME! All they talked about all morning was going on stage (they remeber when Lydia went on stage for her dance recital) They were friendly, charming and made everyone laugh. I don't know how they chose but AJ won King and Austin "Most Awsome Brother"

.

AJ

Austin

Taylie also was in the Baby Contest. She won "Most Beautiful Brown Eyes" I think she was the most beautiful baby there, when she was being presented to the judges they asked if she was the twins sister. When we said yes they looked at each other like "She is the cutest but their family has already won" Maybe that is just the mom in me but I think she definately should have won.

Taylie Hope

Lydia was last and enjoyed dancing to "Sugar, Sugar" She looked so beautiful! They gave all the girls sashes that said "Hippie Chic" I think that was the most exciting part for her. She did AMAZING! Lydia also participated in the Little Buckaroo Rodeo. She chased chickens and did stick barrel. She did such a great job! I am so proud of her!

Lydia AnnaLee

The three oldest also rode on the firetruck during the parade. They had more fun doing that than watching the other parades we have been to this year. Alex got to help with the fireworks like he does every year and the kids enjoyed telling everyone their Daddy lit them off. Overall it was a great week and I can't wait to do it again next year.