This blog is meant to be a record for my children and grandchildren. There are several difficult things about Alex's past in this post. It also has some very spiritual things. This is a very personal subject, everything written here has been written with his permission. Please be kind and do not judge. Thanks
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Alex, his sister Olja with her arm around him and Katja
He was 2 or 3 |
This is the youngest picture we have of Alex. And the only one we have of him with his biological sister Olja. She is his full blood sister and Kolya is his half brother. Alex was born Alosha Olegovich Shkurnik on June 6, 1983 to Ludmilla Michailovna and Oleg Borisovich Shkurnik in Perm, Russia.
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| Ludmilla and Oleg |
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| Ludmilla and her mother Vera |
He has fond memories of spending time at his Babushka's (Grandma's) house. He remembers fishing, gardening, collecting berries and mushrooms, sitting on the river banks and railroad tracks, and watching the sunset with her. He loves her Pelmeni and potato salad.
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| Alex's parents Ludmilla, Oleg, and Babushka Vera |
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| Babushka Vera |
He also remembers spending time with his Aunt Nedeshda (Hope), Uncle Ginniday, and Katja. He remembers Nedeshda's pin collection and that she would always give him one when he would leaver her house. He also remembers how she would get mad at him when he would push the piano keys when Katja was practicing her lessons. She was very kind to him and always looked out for his best interests. She was the one who kept track of him when he was in the orphanage and through the adoption process. She also wrote to him many times once he was here in the US. She told him about his sister, and also kept him updated on his mother. She wanted to adopt him when he went to the orphanage but was afraid Ludmilla would not leave them in peace. Ludmilla caused trouble when Olja when was adopted by Galina (another aunt).
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| Nedeshda, Ginnaday, and Katja |
While he has many wonderful memories, most are of trials and hardship. Living with an alcoholic mother and abusive step fathers. Protecting her from cars when she was passed out drunk in the street and taking care or Kolya when she would disappear for 5-6 days at a time. He would feed and change Kolya who was just a baby and would spend many hours watching the cars pass his house hoping his mother would be in one of them. Midnight trips to the Gypsy's for vodka and then convincing her she had only bought one bottle so he could take the other to share with his friends. Stealing for food and sneaking onto buses so he could get around town. Smoking as young as the age of 6 and adults not caring because it was a normal thing to see. Forgotten birthdays and stolen Christmas's were common.
And many other horrible experiences that are to painful to talk about right now.
One night their mom left for food and didn't return. They had been home alone for a several days and where out of food, they asked a neighbor for so bread and milk. She called to police, when they arrived they told him his mother was at the hospital and that they needed to come with them. But when they got there he couldn't see her and was told that they would set up a time for that and it never happened.
He was sent to live in an Juvinelle detention center and Kolya was sent to an orphanage(he never saw Kolya again until it was time for them to be adopted almost one year later). He was there about 3 months, eventually he was placed in a mental hospital and placed in the wing for children and then locked in a room because they feared he had diseases. He was quaranteened for a month until they could get the blood work back. He ran away from the orphanage because when they were in the fields gardening children were not being nice. Alex and a boy got in a fight and he told the teachers that he was leaving.
He started walking to his home. He hitch hiked alot telling people he had been out visiting friends. Some people would give him food. It took a day to get to Perm. He slept in the stairwell that night as he had many times before. And the next day he snuck on a bus to the next city and another bus to get into the middle of town. From there he hitch hiked to Nitva to see his mother. But when he arrived no one was home. The next morning he heard noises, and thought someone was breaking into the window (keeping in mind this is where his 2nd dad's viewing/funneral was held for 3 days, the casket there the whole time. A bowl of blood lay under the casket. A Russian tradition) he was terrified! He grabbed a knife and stood by the door and waited. When the door opened it was his mother. She was very shocked to see him. She was drunk and he was scared of what might happen next.
He stayed there for about 2 weeks. She told him there was not enough food and that the police were looking for him. So she sent him with his cousin to the next city over to the dump where he lived off what he could find there. He slept under the stars and ate rotten and stale food. He didn't think it was a bad thing, only very interesting to have to be living that way. Ludmilla came in the fall and told him that the police are still looking for him. They knew that she knows where he was. They agreed to leave them alone if she would bring him back. She told him as lovingly as possible that she could not keep him and that he needed to go back. An agreement was made that if he didn't runaway again he could visit his mother on holidays.
I don't want you to think that Ludmilla was a uncaring mother. Alcoholism is an awful addiction that changes people when they are under its influence, mentally and physically. She lost all she had to it, her children, her home, and eventually her life.
When she was not under its influence she was a very loving mother. Alex remembers the time she traveled 4 hours by bus to get money from Babushka's home where they were staying to get him a bike. They are hard to find in Russia and go very quickly when stores have them. She also would always buy them food before she would buy her vodka. They would walk for hours to the government office to get welfare. The first memory he has is going furniture shopping with his mom and step dad, after they took him on boat trip just for fun and bought him a sucker at the store.It is the best earlychild hood memory he has. He felt like they were a real family doing family things. His step dad was very loving until Kolya was born and then became very abusive.
Ludmilla cared so much about her sons that when she was asked to sign her parental rights away so that Kolya could be adopted she willing did so. She also asked if they (the Turners) would be willing to take her older son (Alex) too. She gave them a better life, one she knew she was not able to provide for them. I know that she is so proud of her children, I have had the spirit testify this to me. When Alex and I found out that she had passed, I felt her spirit with us. I felt her love for Alex, how proud she was of him, and of me. That it is my responsibility to take care of her baby now. I was 8 months pregnant with Lydia at the time and I felt her love for her grandchild and that she was with her, and when it was her time to come to Earth that she would bring her to us.
I also know that she has accepted the gospel, I had the privilege of doing her temple work and that of his Babushka while Alex did his Dad's and Dedushka's (Grandpa). The joy I felt was like nothing I have ever experienced in the temple (other than my own endowments and marriage). I must also admit that I could feel her sadness that Alex's parents Bob and Ann were not there when it was done as we were not on good terms at the time. We should have waited until we were, I was 7 months pregnant with the twins and did not know when we could get it done if we waited. I know it is no excuse but I know that she was very happy it was done, but she wished they were there. It was very humbling for me and I think that it helped aid in the forgiveness process.
His parents seperated whe Ludmilla was sent to jail for destruction of property when Alex was a baby. His dad moved out and his Aunt Galina took in him and Olja. When she got out Galina gave Alex back but kept his sister. She wanted to protect her from the life her mother was leading as it is harder for girls in that situation in Russia.
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| Galina and Nedeshda |
His father Oleg had another family and he remembers visiting once. He also remebers that he came and spent the afternoon with him. He took him to see there garden. And he watched and talked to his Dad while he worked in the garden. After they enjoyed strawberries together. It was one of the best days of his life. Feeling a connection to his birth father who he had only seen twice. He couldn't wait for it to happen again. It never did, he hung himself in 1991 when Alex was just 7 years old. He was buried by the time they found out. He wrote a letter apologizing that he was not there for Ludmilla, Olja, and Alex and he wished he had been a better father and husband.
He does not remember Olja, he had some idea that he might have a sister from things him mom would say when she was drunk however it was not confirmed until he was in the US. Nedeshda wrote telling him about her, she also told him that Olja knew nothing of him. She was only told of them when she was old enough to be married. She actually called Alex when he was serving his mission. We have been very blessed that she wants to have a relationship with us. Alex talks to her on the phone, we exchange pictures, and gifts. She is married to a man named Denise and they have 2 children a daughter Sasha and a son Iljia.
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| Olja |
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Sasha
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| Iljia |
He has been blessed too have Kolya with him in this adoption process. Because of all Alex did for Kolya in Russia it has been hard for Alex to take on the brother roll when in Russia he took on the parent roll for so long. It has caused some difficulty in the past but as they get older you can see them growing and appreciating each other even more. There is always a special bond and love between them.
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Alex and Kolya
Alex and Kolya |
Again I want to say how thankful I am for his parents both adoptive and birth. One gave him up so he could have a better life, and one provided that life for him. The Turner's listened to the spirit and adopted two instead of one. They didn't want to separate brothers. I know that it was a great cost to them monetarily, emotionally, and physically. Alex was not always an easy child once he got here as he was use to being his own boss, but the love and joy of having him here and seeing choices he has made with his life could not have happened with out their love and influence. He realizes that it is a miracle he is here and wants to take every opportunity to give back. They are so proud of him. I am too.
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| Alex and his Mom |
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| Alex and his Dad |
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Alex and Kolya sealed For Time and All Eternity
Turner Family October 7, 1995 |
From a humble beginning to an extraordinary man. I love him so much!
