After putting my little darlings to bed this evening I decided to do something for me. I took a nice LONG and HOT shower with just me. No little hands poking me, or little bodies to wash. Just me and the water falling onto my head. Washing away the days stress and easing me into a state of calm, relaxation, and sleepiness.
I got out to hear a siren blaring...Alex left on a fire call and forgot to clear the page. Quickly turning it off I say a quick little prayer to the effect of "Please don't let it wake the children." I snuggle into my chair and open the laptop to check on the world of FB. While waiting for my Hubby to come home so we can have some Mommy/Daddy time watching shows together, talking, sleeping. Just being together with out the constant interruption of 'He hit me!' 'He hit me first' 'Thats my toy' and the all time favorite checking to see if all the kids are playing nicely sneaking down the hall to the bathroom and before I can even lock the door. MOM! I gotta pee! Me too! and of course the previously mentioned ones as well. I hate only having one bathroom.
Pitter Patter...Pitter Patter...."Mommy? I need you to hold me." Out of the kitchen comes my oldest son by 19 minutes. AJ, or as he is wanting to be called this week Alex Joshua sleepily crawls into my lab mumbling over and over. "J, whats wrong?" I asked. More mumbling and he starts twitching. "J do you need the bathroom?" He shakes his head yes. "Okay buddy go potty and go back to bed, I love you." He sleepily walks away. A few seconds later I hear someone cry out. But then no more.
Since I was getting a little sleepy I decided to watch the news in our bedroom and try to stay awake till Alex would get home (You never know with fire calls, could be 10 minutes or 12 hours). I turn on my bedroom light to find none other than my little boy sitting wide awake on my side of the bed. "J what are you doing, you are suppose to be in bed." He looks up at me with those big brown puppy dog eyes and lashes that would make any girl jealous and says "I need you to cuddle me" insert pout lip here. And just like that I go to cuddle him before sending him back off to bed. As I get closer though I realize he is wearing no pants. His underwear definitely was not two shades of blue when I put it on him after his shower this evening. And that wet spot definitely was not there last time I checked. Deep breath in, and exhale. "J did you have an accident? Did you have one on Mommy's bed?" His brown eyes look up at me through the longness of his lashes and with the saddest look you have ever seen he replies:
"I am so sorry Mommy, I got lost and couldn't find the bathroom.I am really sorry, are you mad at me?"
I felt like crying , my clean sheets, my pillow, my clean son who is now needing another shower at 10:30 at night.
Then I looked at his little face, so vulnerable. It wasn't intentional, he really couldn't find the bathroom in his sleepy state of mind. He looked so scared, like he was going to be in trouble. Instead I laughed. I told him that I was sorry he couldn't find the bathroom but next time to come tell Mommy if that happens again so it can get cleaned up. Accidents happen. I walked him to the shower and started the water, more screaming from my youngest but equally handsome boy Austin. He wants to shower if his brother gets to. Talked him out of showering again as he just had 2 hours ago but he did get to watch while AJ had a quick shower not a play one. Hugged and kissed and tucked back in. My Fireman is home and asks how I have been. As I pulled off our bedding and explained the day. I laughed again. (Or maybe, have I finally lost it?)
On evenings like this I can sometimes (okay most times) become very VERY VERY Very stressed out and causes a little bit of severe anxiety. But I am trying harder, you know that country song "Let them Be Little". I am trying to do that. My "little" girl starts Kindergarten in 2 weeks and I am in denial. No Back to School shopping done, panic attacks picking up her registration folder and teacher information, that she is going to be gone most of the day. I want to make a video of her life from birth to school age but again if I do that then it becomes real.
We don't drink very often and it is rarely in the house. But on nights like this I was grateful for his fire call and the fact that he brought back a nice.............cold...............root beer.
Hey Honey! Could you bring me another cold one?
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