Great Grandpa's Pumpkin Roller: 5 years later

 

 Since the day she was born Lydia and her Great Grandpa had a special relationship, she referred to him and my Grandma as "The Greats" and she was his pumpkin roller. Why pumpkin roller I don't really know.....other than can you think of anything cuter than a baby in a pumpkin patch?

The Greats were always so cute with her, she loved to play at their house and they loved having her there.

 

She would help them get ready for bed, tucking them in and getting cotton for Great Grandma's ears so she couldn't hear Great Grandpa snore. She loved to tap dance for them. Every Saturday evening we would turn on the Lawrence Welk Show and she would put her church shoes on and dance her little heart out and they would clap and clap. This also would happen when they would watch Singing in the Rain.

 

Right before Lydia's third birthday we found a bear in a trench coat that sang "Singing in the Rain" and my mom decided it would be the perfect gift for her. A few days before her birthday Grandpa got sick. We were told that he would have a few days left and I knew in my heart that he was going to pass away on Lydia's birthday. He wasn't responsive to hardly anyone and as the days past the less responsive he came. He gave Lydia the most wonderful gift he could give. The last words he spoke were to her, she had told him she loved him and he opened his eyes and said I love you to pumpkin roller.

Lydia and her Singing in the Rain bear

Lydia's 3rd Birthday

Shortly after her party Grandpa returned to his Heavenly Father and his mother and father who he missed so much. Every New Years Eve he would tell us "Today's my moms birthday, she would be__ today" (Happy 109th Birthday Great Grandma Greer!) It was a blessing that he was no longer suffering from Alzheimer and dementia but him passing on Lydia's birthday makes the day bitter sweet. She has a hard time with it, I try hard to remind her of their good times and the precious gift he gave her and continues to give. It has been 5 years and we miss him so much!

Lydia 8 years old

Shortly after her 8th birthday Lydia had her tonsils out (I will tell more of that story later) and she had complications like I did. She was kept over night and the next day in the hospital. I felt so alone up there, Alex was home with our other kids and my parents where working and Lydia slept a lot. I would watch her sleep. And wonder if there was anyone watching from the other side, and if so why couldn't I feel them with me?

Lydia and I resting at the Hospital

When we got home she came into my bedroom and said, mom do you remember Grandpa who passed away? I had a dream he came to me, he was wearing my favorite shirt and he told me to tell you not to worry that "Grandpa is here".

 

Knowing the special bond they had of course it would make sense that he would be watching over her and me from the other side especially during her tonsillectomy (I am sure there was others there too). And ever since then I have heard songs that he taught me,  Loch Lomond and Don't Fence Me In. And seen quite a few Tumbling Tumbleweeds.  It makes me miss him very much but I know that he is close and that "The Greats" will be there for Lydia's baptism this weekend as will all of her loved ones that have passed already. If they wouldn't miss it while they are alive, why would they miss it from the other side.

 

In his talk "The Ministry of Angels"  Elder Jeffrey R Holland states:

 

My beloved brothers and sisters, I testify of angels, both the heavenly and the mortal kind. In doing so I am testifying that God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face. “[N]or will he, so long as time shall last, or the earth shall stand, or there shall be one man [or woman or child] upon the face thereof to be saved.” ¹³ On occasions, global or personal, we may feel we are distanced from God, shut out from heaven, lost, alone in dark and dreary places. Often enough that distress can be of our own making, but even then the Father of us all is watching and assisting. And always there are those angels who come and go all around us, seen and unseen, known and unknown, mortal and immortal.

 

May we all believe more readily in, and have more gratitude for, the Lord’s promise as contained in one of President Monson’s favorite scriptures: “I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, … my Spirit shall be in your [heart], and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.” ¹⁴ In the process of praying for those angels to attend us, may we all try to be a little more angelic ourselves—with a kind word, a strong arm, a declaration of faith and “the covenant wherewith [we] have covenanted.” ¹⁵ Perhaps then we can be emissaries sent from God when someone, perhaps a Primary child, is crying, “Darkness … afraid … river … alone.” To this end I pray in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen."

 

I know this to be true and I too say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.



For Time and All Eternity: LDS Temples



Zoe Elizabeth Tolman

 I will never forget the day this little girl walked into my life. With her beautiful blond hair and stunning eyes and her spunky personality. She was splashing away in the swimming pool with my brother and her mom. She was laughing and talking a mile a minute. It was love at first site. I had to stop myself several times from saying "Come see Aunt Tracie!" Because I wasn't  her Aunt, although it may have slipped out once or twice.

 

My brother had always told us that he would never marry and if he did it wouldn't be for a very, very, long time. So when he brought a date to our family reunion it was a BIG DEAL. And not just that he had brought a date but one with this beautiful little girl, I had to hide my shock. Because he told me that he was waiting to have kids till Lydia was old enough to baby sit for him. I don't know if he knew it then or not, but I did. This little girl was going to be my niece.  

 

And it wasn't long before this:

 

Once they were engaged Derek's name was placed on her Birth Certificate. He was on his Mission when she was born, but her biological father chose not to be involved. And that is okay, she is his. They have the same personality and if you didn't know it you couldn't tell because she looks just like him. He is her Dad, and she is my niece!

 

And on January 8, 2010 They were sealed for Time and All Eternity:

Jaydie, Derek, and Zoe

Lydia, Zoe, and Trinity

Jaydie, Derek, and Zoe

 Other than my own Temple Sealing, watching families and couples be joined together for Time and All Eternity is some of the most sacred and beautiful experiences I have ever had. People who through adoption, or are already married to finally receive those wonderful blessings that they have waited for, to have the people they love sealed to them forever there is nothing quite like it. It is a very special experience. And once you are Sealed any children born to you are yours forever too!

 

A few weeks ago I was teaching Zoe's class in church and during singing time we sang the song: Families can be Together Forever she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said: Aunt Tracie do you remember when I was sealed to my family forever? I do it was the most wonderful day! It was hard for me to hold my tears back and I wrapped my arms around her and told her I did, and it was a wonderful day!

 

A few days later her little brother Rockwell was born, he had trouble breathing and was in the NICU for a few days. Our family prayed and fasted for his health and for his parents. He is home now and doing well.

Zoe, Jaydie, Rockwell, Derek, Pyper

In our religion we believe that when we are married in the Temple that it is not just for this life, but that the family unit continues after death. For Time and All Eternity. Isn't that wonderful! I know it is true, and that we are not just sealed to our spouse and children but to our parents and grandparents as well if they were sealed in the Temple.

Adam and Jeryka

 What a wonderful day it was watching Adam and his wife Jeryka being Sealed, the joy on their faces will not be something I will ever forget.

Brad, Kristin, and Shaylee

 Brad, Kristin, and Shaylee on the day they were Sealed. I remember the spirit was so strong when they brought Shaylee in there wasn't a dry eye in the room. Such a wonderful day.

Alex and I, Alex being Sealed, Meleah's Sealing and Kolya's Endowment

The top picture is of Alex and I on our Wedding day when we were Sealed as Husband and Wife, for Time and All Eternity. The middle picture is of Alex and his family on the day he and his brother where Sealed to their new parents. Alex and Kolya are adopted and so even though his parents where married in the Temple they still needed to be Sealed to them.

 

The bottom picture is of my niece Meleah, she is so special! She made me an Aunt! She was 18 months old when Alex and I got married. She was adopted by Alex's mom and Dad last summer. She was so excited she could hardly hold still! It was a blessing that she had waited a long time for, all of us had and the excitement in the air was very contagious and lasted all day. Alex's brother Kolya also went through the Temple for the first time that day. It was a day full of spiritual blessings.

 

I am so blessed to have the gospel in my life, especially the blessings of the Temple. That my husband, children, parents, brothers, nieces, nephews, brother and sister in laws, Alex's parents, and all our grandparents will be a family forever. I couldn't ask for anything better.

My family
Austin, Alex, Tracie, AJ
Lydia, Taylie

Salt Lake Temple
For Time and All Eternity
Alex and Tracie
March 5, 2005

To learn more about LDS Temples please visit: www.lds.org





All grown up!

Stronger....

I just wanted to let you know....

 

I just want to let you know....

 

You are loved!

We have loved you since the day we heard

you were on your way!! We couldn't wait to kiss your face

and count you little toes. See first smiles, hear first words.

I may not be your Mommy, but I love you just the same.

The day you left I cried! If I had known the last time

was the last I would have held you tight.

And whispered that I love you,

and that you would be alright.

 

You are special!

Heavenly Father has great plans for you!

You have been blessed with two families.

Both love you and wants what is best for you.

One gave you life and gave you up because of love

The other took you in as their own

And I know that they love you too.

 

You are missed!

Please know that you are missed, and that I think about you often.

I know your mommy does too.  

I hear that you have had great things happen in your life

and while I am sad that I could not be there.

The happiness I feel for the blessings you received.

Words cannot describe.  

 

You were wanted!

Life happens as it often does.

I wanted to take you home

I wanted to love you like my own.

But the safest place for you

was far from here. 

But not far from our hearts 

 

And we will cling to the memories of the times we had.

 

And keep a prayer in my heart that one day

 I will get to hold you again

and whisper in your ear.

I love you!

 

Wordless Wednesday: Frank and Pablo 9/11 Heroes

Heroes
Frank and Pablo
Love, Went up and not down
Put his life in danger to save other people

by: Lydia Turner, 7

Pictures drawn in Memory of Frank and Pablo
Hero's of the 88th floor
by:
Lydia Turner
age 7

Tell me, Mom...Where were you on 9/11?

These are some pictures we took on the 10th Anniversary

at the bridge near our home town, the local fire departments

set up this flag for the 9/11 Memorial Riders

 

I am sorry this is a few days late, this years Anniversary has been more difficult than I thought it would be. My baby is growing up, she is learning about 9/11 in school and wanted to watch some of the memorial videos about that day. My Lydia is almost 8, but as we have said since birth she is an old soul. She told us just tonight she may be 8 but she is going on 18.

"Mom, where were you when you found out about the towers?" she asked as we were watching one of the documentaries.

"Mom, how old where you?"

"Mom, did you watch them fall?"

"Mom, what did you feel?"

"Mom, how do you feel about it now that you are the wife of a fireman?"

She would ask me these questions every few minutes, or ask for a clarification on what was being said. We would pause the show and her and I would talk. It brought so many raw feelings from that day back, also some that since becoming the wife of a fireman mean so much more now. She would listen and sometimes we would cry together.

I was 18 when the towers fell, I awoke to my younger brothers telling me one plane had hit a building in New York City. No, it can't be, what a horrible accident.

Accident, it had to be. What else could it be? But deep in the back of my head I knew, but my heart did not want to believe that something, someone would want to harm so many people.

I sat that morning before work, feeling numb. Watching. Hoping. I watched the second plane hit the South Tower. And then I knew my head was right. Terrorists. How did I feel, shock, sadness, disbelief. But most of all the loss of innocence. I would never view the world through the eyes of a child again. This doesn't happen these days. We aren't at war, Pearl Harbor I had read about in my history books at school. The Civil War, WWI, WWII.  This was history folding out in front of me, in front of the whole word to see in a way like it had never happened before. Live. We were under attack.

I got ready for work and learned the first tower had fell, the second fell as I drove to work and heard reports of other hijacked planes. My heart hurt at the loss of life, for the families, for our nation. I don't remember feeling anger though. Just the feeling that I had been catapulted into an adult world, a world that would never be the same. The evil that we try to shelter our children from, but I was no longer a child. Terrorism did exist. We were under attack, being pushed into war from an unknown assailant.

The next day my Dad, Grandpa Greer, and I moved my Uncle and his family to Kansas. The sky was so eerily quiet. The normally quiet roads through Wyoming to the small town in Kansas seemed packed with people. And we had no hotel to stay in. I was amazed that in each small town we passed there was no rooms. We raced another family from one hotel to the next trying to find the last available room. 

I remember listening to President Bush and his "I hear you, and the world hears you, and the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon!" The pride I felt as an American, viewing the people "the helpers", the flags, the GOD BLESS AMERICA and hearing the wonderful stories of people helping people. Of Flight 93, and those who fought back. Sacrificing themselves, that others might live. I have heard it said that it was the first fight on the war of 9/11 and they won. I couldn't agree more. They gave a mourning nation hope.

I was 22 when I married my husband, a fireman. I was so proud of him, I knew the importance it was to him and even joined him until we started having kids. I have learned so much being a member of this wonderful Brotherhood. I have learned so much being a fire wife. I know my last few posts have been fire related but it is such a big part of both our lives.

At 28, the ten year anniversary Alex and I lay in our room watching a documentary on 9/11 when I heard it, a sound that at 18 I did not know what it was. But as former firewoman and fire wife it pierced my soul, it was the sound of 343 PASS devices, Calling out of the dust, hear I am find me. I cried on 9/11. I cried more that night realizing what that sound represented to the families of the fireman, and the fireman who were still standing.

And now at 30, having to explain to my children when they ask, Tell me Mom...Where were you? And knowing that they at such a young age are beginning to realize that the world they live in isn't always safe.

My Grandpa Greer fought in WWII, he rushed the beaches of Okinawa. We tried to get him to talk to us about the war, but he rarely did other than to show us the planes he rode on.

He wanted to keep us young, I believe. And I am so grateful for that.

Lydia attends a Charter School that classes go up to 9th grade so when events like the shooting yesterday we feel we must ask what she has heard. Make sure if she has heard anything that it is the correct information, and answer any questions she might have.

It broke my heart today as I watched tears run down her cheeks and she said "Not again, not so close to 9/11, why?"

"Why?" A question for so many events, but we never will have all of the answers.

There were angels there yesterday, as there where on 9/11. Human and Heavenly. And hearing Lydia say that put a smile on my face.

"It hurts, but I will look for the helpers. Angels are all around us."

This poem is one I have shared every 9/11 since that 10th Anniversary, it was written by a man whom I am pleased to call my friend. It describes best what I felt that day and still do.

 

We Shall Never Forget (9-11 Tribute)

 

Let the world always remember,

That fateful day in September,

And the ones who answered duties call,

Should be remembered by us all.

 

Who left the comfort of their home,

To face perils as yet unknown,

An embodiment of goodness on a day,

When men's hearts had gone astray.

 

Sons and daughters like me and you,

Who never questioned what they had to do,

Who by example, were a source of hope,

And strength to others who could not cope.

 

Heroes that would not turn their back,

With determination that would not crack,

Who bound together in their ranks,

And asking not a word of thanks.

 

Men who bravely gave their lives,

Whose orphaned kids and widowed wives,

Can proudly look back on their dad,

Who gave this country all they had.

 

Actions taken without regret,

Heroisms we shall never forget,

The ones who paid the ultimate price,

Let's never forget their sacrifice.

 

And never forget the ones no longer here,

Who fought for the freedoms we all hold dear,

And may their memory never wane,

Lest their sacrifices be in vain.

 

Alan W. Jankowski



To learn what a Pass Device is click here.
 

Wordless Wednesday: Family Picture (minus the second row)

 Back: Donna (mom), Dean (dad), Dixie, Sander
2nd row back: Tyler, Adam, Grandma Greer, Taylor
Middle row: Jane, Brent, Grandpa Greer, Ben
2nd row: unknown
Front row: Crystal, Brad, Tracie, Derek, Jaron
Oct 2000, One of my favorite trips
Universal Studios Hollywood

Tolman Cousins!

Dean Tolman, Tom Tolman, Tracie Tolman Turner

Hearts of the Past: Clarence Devan Tolman 10/19/1923-08/19/2003

Hearts of the Past: Clarence Devan Tolman 10/19/1923-08/19/2003:   It has been ten years since I last saw your smiling face. You told me you were going home, asked if I wanted to go. If only I kn...

Wordless Wednesday: March 5, 2013

Spam.....not the food

Due to the amount of Spam post I have received recently I have had to activate the word verification. I hate that it has come to this because I personally hate trying to decipher the word verifications but it has been a ridiculous amount (5 in one day)! So my apologies in advance!

Wordless Wednesday: Missing my Grandparents

Triple the Birthday fun!

February 4, 2013

Happy fifth birthday AJ and Austin!
Happy third birthday Taylie!

We love you!

 

God is that you?

I took Taylie to the bathroom during church Sunday and as I was pulling up her little tights she looked  up to the ceiling and said: God is that you?

I looked around and asked her who she was talking to and she said no one. It was so cute. I hope that all my kids can realize that God is always there for them, loves them, and knows them by name. Even if they can't see him.

And lastly I hope they know that they are sons and daughters of God and that he loves them as much if not more that Alex and I do. They where His children before they were ours. And one day we will be able to walk back into His presence and we will know him and love him as we do our Father and also remember our Mother their. And that we will be together forever someday, as one huge family unit. How awesome will that day be?

Disney for Nathan

Looking for Blue Sky: Dear Disney...

My new friend and the story of her sweet baby! Please share!